I ate too much for breakfast I ate too much for lunch All I want to do is munch, munch, munch Broiled hot dogs Cheddar cheese logs Two-pound cut of steak Five-layer chocolate cake Salmon roe in a zesty pile My food-stained lips cast a smile I want to have a heart attack Maybe I […]


There is vanilla, chocolate and strawberry There is the Staten Island ferry I don’t eat ice cream or ride boats I’d rather take care of my pet stoats Buster and Rodger and Margaret Each one is a perfect pet They like to eat birds and bunnies, but let’s not consider that a blight In the […]


It was a classic tirade As usual, it made me afraid Trump blowing wind like a tropical storm Claiming over and over again that he means no harm As he calls somebody a rat or an insect His depravity and insanity intersect They paint a picture drawn in hell Of a fat old man who […]


I was looking for the truth I climbed up on my roof The view from there was way up high My foot slipped and I started to cry I rolled over and over a few times and took to the air I thought I would break some bones but I didn’t care I landed on […]


No more bombs of glory That’s the North Korean Story We’ve waited so long to be conned again The two dictators met and became instant friends  


My soul is as empty as a wishing well I think my ankles are starting to swell I look out the window and there’s a cow crapping on my lawn By the time I get my gun it’s gone Now I’m hungry for a triple cheese whopper and a bucket of fries As I drive […]

Moral Failure

Trust is a wheelbarrow full of gum and toys It has one wheel and it’s sticky, and it makes a lot of noise That’s why I went to Kansas Where everybody tells the truth and nobody’s an ass I got a motel room beside a giant field of wheat I looked out my window looking […]