Clown

I had too much extra energy My feet were tapping and my nerves were haunting me So I hired a clown to calm me down His name was Bozo the Noun “What a weird name” I said He asked if it would be better if his name was Bloody Boot instead He wasn’t wearing boots, […]

Retire

What’s the difference between this and that? Is it somehow connected to what? It’s hard to tell when you’re on the run Looking over your shoulder and not having fun I shouldn’t have robbed that liquor store But I know what I did it for And there’s no turning back now I got five-hundred dollars […]

Hare

Yesterday I was asking “What is a March hare?” Today I don’t even care On the shimmering screen that is my mind Any stable image is nearly impossible to find Except, sometimes I can remember my previous life When I had a cow, and a dog, and an adoring wife Now, the only thing that […]

Door

I slammed the door as hard I could But I forgot it was made of metal, not wood I was hoping to smash the door into splinters It had given me too many cold and drafty winters It gets ice on the knob Keeping it ice-free is a job I use a hairdryer, alcohol, and […]

Elephant

There was elephant in the room Hanging out with circus people, you need a push broom I had always admired my circus friends They did their show, packed their bags, and left with no amends I was in the circus once for about two weeks It was in the middle of one of my lucky […]

Stuck

I was trapped with no way of getting out of there I was thinking about eating my foot, but first I’d crack open a beer Suddenly I hard a scratching sound on my wall I yelled, come and save me, I’m trapped and that’s not all I got my Social Security check today and I’ll […]

Shovel

How many times must I ask you to sit down? I know you like your hair, and your snow white gown Where the heck are you going? For the past five days it’s been snowing How are you ever going to get up the drive? You’ll be lucky if you make it out alive However, […]