I didn’t ask for this right now

But I was given an angry cow

Her mooing sounds like a threat

I think she does not want to be my pet

I don’t know why she wears giant plaid running shoes

or why she stands in the garage swaying back and forth and listening to the blues

Every day it’s Robert Cray, Robert Cray, Robert Cray

I want to hit her on the head with a heavy ashtray

When I look at her in the right light I see cuts of meat sketched out on her skin

Ribs, roasts, sirloin, brisket, t-bone, tenderloin, porterhouse: it’s a sin

I’ve named her Bossy because she is

and I’m studying cows like I’m going to take a quiz

I’ve added to her playlist–I don’t think it’s a crime

We listen to the Beach Boys some of the time

Bossy seems to like “California Girls” and “Warmth of the Sun”

I think we may actually be starting to have some fun!

I’ve decided not eat her any time soon

Instead, I’ll be feasting on curry and crab Rangoon