I looked into my cereal bowl and it started talking to me

It told me the earth is round and the alphabet ends in Z

I told the bowl I already know this stuff

Tell me something new, or I’ve had enough

The bowl said I was having a hallucination

I thanked the bowl, which I was sure was Satan

I mixed some holy water in with my raisin bran flakes

It could’ve been one of my life’s biggest mistakes

The bowl started wobbling and turned bright cherry red

It flew in the air and landed on my head

With milk and bran flakes streaming down my face

I figured I was headed for a “better” place

Suddenly the bowl disappeared

And its place a halo appeared

“Welcome to Heaven,” said a reindeer with a flashing red nose

“I know who you are,” I said, “everybody knows.”

But his name wasn’t Rudolph, it was Tiramisu

He looken me in the eye and said “I’m here for you.”

His job was to lead me to my just desserts

Which had something to do with crowd surfing at big rock concerts

So now I am The Spirit of the Crowd

I love it when they crank it up loud

I float on the smoke from the fog machines

And happily make rock ‘n roll memes