There will never by a time like this again
Everybody laughs when I say “When”
Every time I say it they all howl
After I say it I growl
Howling and growling on a Saturday night
Just like they say in rock ‘n roll, it feels all right
We might have a few beers and smoke a little pot
But when I say “When” things get really hot
Ball caps are turn forward and nose rings fly into the air
I loosen my necktie and stand on a shaky old kitchen chair
I say “When” in my melodic voice
The refrigerator flies open like it has a choice
The oven lights up with a soft orange glow
Outside it is cold and starting to snow
Everybody’s howling and sweating in the human heat
I growl real loud and say “Let’s have something to eat.”
Everyone backs up with fear in their eyes
“Something, not someone I laugh and yell!”
Everybody looks like they just came back from hell
There are fifty cans of beans stored over there
That’s right–right behind that big green armchair
We heated the beans and slammed them down
Suddenly I heard a loud farting sound
The room started sounding like a flock of migrating geese
The world was alive with the cutting of cheese
I said “When”
And the place turned into mayhem
Howling and growling and farting hard
It seemed like we should be on a psycho ward
But that’s how we celebrate birthdays on this side of hill
First recorded in 1735 by the tip of a quill