Fish

I sat in the window like a L.L. Bean model

I was holding a fishing rod and a canoe paddle

I was ready go out and catch the big one

I wanted a fish that weighed a ton

Suddenly Eddy, my cat from the shelter downtown,

Told me he knew where there was a fish of great renown

He said it was at the grocery store

Laid out on ice waiting for me to score

So I rode my bike into town

Went into the grocery store and hunched down

I crept with stealth to the seafood aisle

There was a whole tuna laid out on tile

Packed around with fake blocks of ice

Wow! That fish looked so nice!

I baited my hook with a big fat worm

And cast it at the tuna while it wiggled and squirmed

The tuna stood up and yelled “What the hell are you trying to do?”

It was the store manager in a tuna suit–I swear it’s true

He pulled the hook out of his tuna butt where it was stuck

I thought to myself, “This is my luck.”

Who would’ve guessed that a seafood promotional at the grocery store

would include the Manager mimicking a giant Albacore

When I got home I yelled at my cat for his bad advice

He, like he has a 1,000 times before, promised “henceforth” to be nice

I have never caught a fish with my rod and reel.

I must tell my therapist how that makes me feel.