Empty House


I had a bunch of gifts under my tree

Every one I gave, I gave it to me

I live alone in a big empty house

Everybody’s left me, but best of all my spouse

She never let me forget how much she did for us

It made me crazy and I would stand up and cuss

Dammit to hell, Jesus Christ, what an asshole

If you don’t like it, kiss my ass, and god damn your soul

So anyway, it’s Christmas day and I’m hungry, I have gas, and I’m all alone

I wish my wife would come back, like in some episode of the Twilight Zone

I would never cuss at her again or treat her like the other

Especially if she put our kids up for adoption or left them with her mother