Yesterday was Christmas–what a bore

I drank rum-laced egg nog and sat on the floor

For some damn reason my family had to be there

And I don’t know if they were there out of  love or fear

My son Rimbaud gave me a mechanical mouse

It went “cheep cheep” and rolled around the house

My daughter Faraway gave me a box of nails and 2 cans of white paint

She told me she wants me to build her a house that’s terribly quaint

My wife Marie gave me 5 bottles of Malox and a receipt for an airplane

She told me when she starts flying, I may never see her again

I gave each member of my family a laundry basket filled with fifty-dollar bills

I want them to know that life is still filled with thrills

I made my fortune selling munitions

I want my son and daughter to both be beauticians