I had oysters for lunch today
With some white wine along the way
I always expect to find a pearl
Just like I imagine I’m an Earl
Having a cup of tea
with me myself and me
I put nine lumps in my cup
The tea gets so thick I can’t stir it up
One thing’s for sure,
for my diabetes it’s not a cure
I’ve eaten gobs of sugar all my life
In fact, in ’62 it cost me my second wife
We were snorting sugar cane
When all of a sudden it started to rain
My wife stood up and ran away
I haven’t seen her to this day
We did the divorce on the internet
It’s not something I’ll ever regret
Now I watch CNN most of the time,
sit in my chair and worry about crime
Last night there was a murder down the block
When I saw it on the news I got out of my chair and checked the lock