I had oysters for lunch today

With some white wine along the way

I always expect to find a pearl

Just like I imagine I’m an Earl

Having a cup of tea

with me myself and me

I put nine lumps in my cup

The tea gets so thick I can’t stir it up

One thing’s for sure,

for my diabetes it’s not a cure

I’ve eaten gobs of sugar all my life

In fact, in ’62 it cost me my second wife

We were snorting sugar cane

When all of a sudden it started to rain

My wife stood up and ran away

I haven’t seen her to this day

We did the divorce on the internet

It’s not something I’ll ever regret

Now I watch CNN most of the time,

sit in my chair and worry about crime

Last night there was a murder down the block

When I saw it on the news I got out of my chair and checked the lock