There wasn’t anything but snow

I was freezing and didn’t know which way to go

The car’s heater had been broken since last July

When it came on by itself and made me start to fry

I disconnected it underneath the dash by cutting some wires

All summer long I had no A/C–I wished I hadn’t found my pliers

I drove ahead and came to a shiny metal diner

I pulled into the lot and thought “Nothing can be much finer!”

Suddenly I felt sleepy & wanted a quick nap

I put on my mittens and pulled down my cap

When I awoke the car was so cold

It was time to go into the diner–I didn’t have to be told

I jumped out of my freezing car and went through the diner’s door

I sat in a booth by a window with dead flies on the sill and ketchup splattered on the floor

The waitress asked me what I wanted

I said, “Whiskey,” and, “Is this place haunted?”

She replied, “I’m sorry we don’t serve booze, and yes, I’m a ghost.”

I thought, in that case, I’ll have a grilled cheese sandwich on white bread toast.

I looked out the window toward the sun and snowdrifts, and I saw my car in the lot

I could see my frozen body behind the wheel sporting an icicle made of snot

I ate my grilled cheese and thought about the future

Too bad they didn’t serve booze, I could drink myself into a spectral stupor

Eternity in a diner. It could be worse

I could be a smelly malevolent curse