There wasn’t anything but snow
I was freezing and didn’t know which way to go
The car’s heater had been broken since last July
When it came on by itself and made me start to fry
I disconnected it underneath the dash by cutting some wires
All summer long I had no A/C–I wished I hadn’t found my pliers
I drove ahead and came to a shiny metal diner
I pulled into the lot and thought “Nothing can be much finer!”
Suddenly I felt sleepy & wanted a quick nap
I put on my mittens and pulled down my cap
When I awoke the car was so cold
It was time to go into the diner–I didn’t have to be told
I jumped out of my freezing car and went through the diner’s door
I sat in a booth by a window with dead flies on the sill and ketchup splattered on the floor
The waitress asked me what I wanted
I said, “Whiskey,” and, “Is this place haunted?”
She replied, “I’m sorry we don’t serve booze, and yes, I’m a ghost.”
I thought, in that case, I’ll have a grilled cheese sandwich on white bread toast.
I looked out the window toward the sun and snowdrifts, and I saw my car in the lot
I could see my frozen body behind the wheel sporting an icicle made of snot
I ate my grilled cheese and thought about the future
Too bad they didn’t serve booze, I could drink myself into a spectral stupor
Eternity in a diner. It could be worse
I could be a smelly malevolent curse