Every time I fly

All crumpled up, I wonder why

So far up in the air

The cornfields below look like hair

The kid in front of me is banging his seat into my knees

I ask him politely to stop it please

He bangs even harder and his mother starts to laugh

My anger is cranked up to 500 and-a-half

I order hot coffee and dump it on his head

If there was a way, I’d kill him dead

He starts to scream like an air raid alarm

I take out my noise canceling headphones and put them on

Listening to Pink Floyd, I’m doing no harm

A flight attendant walks down the aisle and touches my arm

I take off my headphones and hear her with a big smile say,

“Would you like another cup of coffee? It looks like the first one went astray.”