I was looking out the window at a giant snow pile

I was seething with rage all the while

I put on my goose down suit and sauntered into the yard

The snow was so deep it made walking real hard

I was wheezing and panting like my dog Crutch

I looked at the sky and looked at the snow, and I thought “Too much”

As I was about to turn and go inside

I saw a hand sticking out of the snow and nearly died

It didn’t have a glove or a mitten on it

It was waving back and forth like it was having a fit

I grabbed ahold of it and pulled really hard

Up popped the school crossing guard

So even when she was buried under the snow

Her waving hand showed her concern for which way to go

I asked her how she had ended up there

She said that the night before she had gone on a tear

Drinking rum, taking acid, and smoking pot

She felt so guilty she would’ve liked being shot

I told her to wait before she sunk into self erasure

I enjoy going on a tear–they give me great pleasure

If you round up the rum and pot

I’ll give scoring the acid a shot

We’ll smoke and drink and trip until we can’t do any more

Then we’ll put on our pajamas and pass out on the floor

She said yes and gave me a hug

I was already thinking about lying beside her on my living room rug