I felt a strong vibration in my chair

It made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t care

I agreed to be an experimental subject

They were paying me $5.00; but the situation was not exactly perfect

You see, I was unemployed and selling my blood

And the bloodletting plan went thud

My last lab test said I was severely anemic and could give no more

Now, my prospects were dim and I could hardly stand up on the carpeted floor

Now I’ve got this vibrating chair gig

Every time they turn the vibrator on I squeal like a pig

They seem excited by that

Maybe they will give me a “Make America Great Again” hat

All the doctors and assistants wear them in the lab

The hats make the laboratory much less drab.

Maybe President Trump will come by,

Sit on a vibrating chair, and let out a loud porcine cry

I’d love to see him do it without any pants

Squealing and and twisting, doing the oink-oink dance