There is nothing tangible that makes me happy

Especially my computer which is really crappy

I think its insides are made of pasta and a peacock feather

When I turn it on it smokes and it affects the weather

Fog horns go off inside my house

They freak out my already nervous spouse

I went to the store today to get a new machine

The prices they charge are totally obscene

So, I tried to steal one and got caught

The cable holding it to the showcase was glued down tight and taut

If I had some hedge clippers I could’ve cut it away

Now I’m in a jail cell in San Jose

I wonder how my credit rating will be affected

Will my application for a computer loan be rejected?