I was thinking today about Heaven above

Does He really send down a snow-white dove as a sign of His pure sweet love?

I wonder, because my yard is filled with a white dove flock

I don’t know what it’s eating but its crapping in my yard and all over our block

It’s against the law to shoot a gun in town

But I just had to start taking these feathered shit-machines down

Just as I was ready to blow at least ten of the birds away

I heard a voice from the garage boom out “Get on your knees and pray.”

I went out to the garage and to my surprise it was Father Bob standing there

With a 12 gauge shotgun, five boxes of shells, and a twelve-pack of beer

He said, “What I meant to say is ‘get down on your knees like you’re going to pray.’

Then, once you’re on your knees, load up your shotgun and fire away

Firing your weapon from on your knees

Will steady your aim and make shooting a breeze.”

We must’ve bagged 200 snow-white doves that afternoon

I’m not going to think about Heaven any time soon

Father Bob has been befuddled ever since that day

All he wants to do is get down on his knees and pray

I don’t care what he wants to do

The doves are gone and the shit’s cleaned up too