Who or what was there when I needed them?

A friend? A relative? My doctor? A flawless gem?

None of the above; it’s like a carrot on a rope

Too much love, too much caring, too much hope

It’s like you’re swinging the carrot around your head

And your arm gets tired and you want to go to bed

But you notice a clown glued to your ceiling

And you get lost in space with that tally-man feeling

You yell “Day-o” and the clown peels off

He lands in your face and starts to scoff

“Your mother changes your underpants. Your father eats raw hot dogs.”

I look behind me at the fireplace and pick up a couple of logs

I throw them at the clown and yell “Juggle these Mr. Fun-filled Disease!”

The logs hit him in the head, he laughs and yells “Throw ten more please.”

I hit him in the head again, but this time with my carrot on a rope

To my amazement he turns into a golden gyroscope

Going out the door, “I’m off to see the Wizard” he cheerfully yells

I notice just then that something really smells

The house is filling with clown crap

I run out in the yard holding my map

I’m going to see the Wizard

And when I find the clown, I’m going to pull out his gizzard