Yesterday I was asking “What is a March hare?”
Today I don’t even care
On the shimmering screen that is my mind
Any stable image is nearly impossible to find
Except, sometimes I can remember my previous life
When I had a cow, and a dog, and an adoring wife
Now, the only thing that adores me is the owner of the liquor store
Where I shop for beer nuts, cheap red wine, Mr. Boston vodka, and more
This happens five days a week
And fills me with the solace I seek
Chewing the beer nuts makes my jaws strong
And mixing wine and vodka, you can’t go wrong
My current wife who hates me
Keeps telling me to drink hot tea
Just to shut her up, I give it a try
With a slice of homemade nettle pie
Then, I go into the living room and start to drink
I’m looking forward to not being able to think
Then, my adoring wife appears in my head
“It’s all in your brain,” she said
“If you’re all in my brain, how can you talk to me?”
She said, “Because you’re a drunken idiot. Have some hot tea.”
The one who hates and the one who adores
Both prescribe hot tea to settle my scores
“What does it mean?” I burp from my back
“Between love and hate there’s a puzzling pact.”