There once was a crown without a head
The head had been traded for a loaf of bread
Times were tough and hard as nails
The dogs and cats were eating their tails
Then, out of nowhere the sky started raining potatoes and corn
The solution to the famine had been born!
I put down my wife’s leg just as I was ready to bite
People danced in the streets, it was a lovely sight!
I grabbed an armload of potatoes from my front yard
I could cook them in the microwave–it wouldn’t be hard
Just then, a truck emblazoned with a golden arch
Pulled into my yard and knocked down my prized larch
Five Clowns jumped out of the back of the truck
Handguns pointing at me–I was out of luck
“Do you want to join Ronald’s Army?” one of them said
I joined on the spot: I wanted to be alive, not dead
I put on the red wig and and each big rubber tie-up boot
The red striped shirt and socks, and yellow suit
We–Ronald’s Army–wreak havoc across the land
Throwing raw potatoes whenever we can