There once was a crown without a head

The head had been traded for a loaf of bread

Times were tough and hard as nails

The dogs and cats were eating their tails

Then, out of nowhere the sky started raining potatoes and corn

The solution to the famine had been born!

I put down my wife’s leg just as I was ready to bite

People danced in the streets, it was a lovely sight!

I grabbed an armload of potatoes from my front yard

I could cook them in the microwave–it wouldn’t be hard

Just then, a truck emblazoned with a golden arch

Pulled into my yard and knocked down my prized larch

Five Clowns jumped out of the back of the truck

Handguns pointing at me–I was out of luck

“Do you want to join Ronald’s Army?” one of them said

I joined on the spot: I wanted to be alive, not dead

I put on the red wig and and each big rubber tie-up boot

The red striped shirt and socks, and yellow suit

We–Ronald’s Army–wreak havoc across the land

Throwing raw potatoes whenever we can