Sheep

My grass was growing quickly in my yard

As I got older mowing it was getting too hard

So, I got four sheep to chomp it down

But all they wanted to do was go into town

And drink all day at the local bar

Then stumble home around 4.00 and steal my car

Ramsy (the leader) got a DWI nearly every day

He never went to court, he said “It’s baaad to pay.”

I was sick and tired of the god damn sheep

They didn’t do anything and weren’t cheap to keep

So know I have a couple of freezers filled with shish-kebab cuts

But I look out at my lawn and say “I must be nuts.”

I hired a Russian to cut my grass

But he is a total pain in the ass

He sets up his samovar on my front porch

And heats it up with a big gas-powered torch

I told him to stop and he asked my if I wanted some brew

I said “Yes,” drank it down, and away he flew

I pulled off my pants and ran to the mall

I’ve been in the bin for a week, and that’s all