There is only one reason to stick around here But I don’t know what it is, so I’ll have another beer When I went to put my sweater on I looked at the back There was a giant hole–I nearly had a heart attack When I recovered I realized a moth had eaten the […]


    Today, I went to the mall My purpose was to walk around, that’s all wandering ¬†through the mall, I came to Target What I saw inside, I’ll never forget There was a weird blond man in the supplement aisle Standing there in his underwear with a great big smile He was popping probiotic […]


  I froze my ass off and it fell to the ground making a hollow baked ham sound I called 911 and they thought I was making a joke I said, “I’m telling the truth, it fell and it almost broke.” Soon I heard sirens coming my way The ambulance driver said it was his […]


  The onion stood alongside the cheese It was a sight to please The onion was Bermuda The cheese was Gouda They made an interesting pair Their fragrances filled the air Mixing in the breeze, it was a nearly cosmic treat Together, they smelled like a Subway sandwich devoid of meat I was wondering by […]


  Every time I turn on my phone I stop feeling lonely and alone There is so much going on on the screen I keep switching between E-mail, Messenger, Instgram, and Facebook I post my photos hoping somebody will take a look But I get no responses to any picture I’ve taken That’s when I […]


  Every time I fly All crumpled up, I wonder why So far up in the air The cornfields below look like hair The kid in front of me is banging his seat into my knees I ask him politely to stop it please He bangs even harder and his mother starts to laugh My […]


  My hope is like a toadstool growing on a tree It looks like what it’s named for, but it’s no good for me Every time I perch there it breaks off the tree I fall to the ground and feel good that I’m free Hoping and coping are for hallucinators Living in bathtubs and […]